i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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