your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
My butt remains clenched, sir.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
