Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I need a beard to bite.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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