Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
