I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
