ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Randomize
