Grow some girl-balls and come out already
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
