He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
