I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
