Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
