I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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