whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
