Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
this beer tastes like vomit already
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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