We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Randomize
