sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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