i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
