Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
