Christians are straight up FREAKS
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
