4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
