There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
