He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
meet me or not, i'm out of control
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Randomize
