Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
