Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
