My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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