Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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