so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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