sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize