omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
