She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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