if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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