Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
