he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
