I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
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