Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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