My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize