Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
