just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
