Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
