Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
