Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
