so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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