i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Your penis caused this!
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