he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize