i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
