I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize