Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Randomize
