Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
