bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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