she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
