I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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