dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
