I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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