Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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