put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Randomize
