I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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