Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
