Can Purell be used as lube?
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
