I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
