my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Randomize
