I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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