I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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