once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
