Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize