i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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