16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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