I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize
