and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
