I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
that may or may not have been my penis.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
