ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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