Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
