I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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